Blogtober 2018, My poems

A poem

You want me to be meek

Silent footsteps, sweet smiles.

To bow down before you,

to let you fill my mind with your ideals.

After all, I’m just a woman.

 

Sealed lips, sealed legs

for someone chosen to unwrap.

Not chosen by me, of course.

 

But I’m not yours to give

not yours to bend and shape.

I will never fit into your mould

I’m too loud, too angry

Too much of everything you didn’t want me to be.

Have you ever tried to silence a storm?

Try it, I dare you.

An impossible feat.

 

Now try and silence me

I dare you.

17 years and I’ve only gotten louder.

–  An angry poem from 2017

 

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Blogtober 2018

What I’m watching these days

So in my last post I mentioned how I watch Netflix and all that good stuff. Which prompted me to write this post, good thing it did cos I need to get the rest of my blogtober posts sorted before I fall behind!!

So here’s a list of what I’m watching atm, not all of these are on Netflix because I live in the UK and it’s all a season behind *le sigh*

  • Jane the virgin
  • How to get away with murder – This is a wild one, they have a habit of doing “flash forwards” and then working backwards, it’s maddening!
  • Dynasty – Elizabeth Gillies am I right, wowee
  • Forensic files – mega interesting but I can’t watch it after dark haha!
  • Modern family – I mean, it’s modern family what more can I say!
  • Brooklyn nine nine – This is just the old seasons on a loop until the new one is released

Im also looking to start:

  • Sherlock (again!)
  • Maybe, the good place
  • The Crown

Bit of a short one today, but really what more can I say without boring you all to death?

Until next time! 🍁

Lists!!

Cosy night in essentials

So I love autumn, if you hadn’t already guessed! My main reason is the whole cosy vibe that surrounds this time of year. Every night when I’m not working is inevitably a cosy night in for me, so it only makes sense that I make a list of my essentials.

1) Fluffy socks and PJs

I’m out of my “outdoorsy clothes” and into my pjs real fast. Oversized men’s t-shirts from primark are a godsend. Hella cheap as well, I currently have 8 shirts in my collection. I don’t know how people can stay in their other clothes for ages, if I’m not eating as soon as I get home then I’m getting changed.

Now, I don’t wear socks to bed because that’s just a whole new level of discomfort I’m not willing to deal with but, I do love pulling on some thick fluffy socks as soon as I get home.

2) Youtube and/or Netflix

Usually even on days that I’m busy, I’ll still go through my subscriptions and add videos that I like the look of to then sit down and watch when I have the time. Youtube is usually the first place I go to when I’m having a chill evening because I usually have a couple of videos ready to watch. Once I’m done with YouTube and I still have time to spare, I’ll move on over to netflix. I mean, it only makes sense really. I think I’ve just thought of another blogtober post!

3) My bed

Can you truly be cosy if you’re not in bed? I’m still at home with my family so I spend most of my time in my room, the living room is usually taken over my brother’s lego and his very loud TV shows. (Dinosaur king, anyone?)

4) Food/snacks

Need I explain? Can’t be watching shows and YouTube videos without le snacks.

5) Rainy weather

While this isn’t guaranteed (I mean this past summer was a shocker) there is nothing better than being huddled up in bed, all warm and cosy while it’s chucking it down outside. Perfection.

Right lads, that’s all I’ve got for today! I hop you’re enjoying these blogtober post and I shall see you again soon, until next time! 🍁

 

Where I'm at right now

October 2018| Where I’m at right now

So I know we’re in the middle of blogtober, but I feel like doing a life update. I feel like some things have happened that I’d like to talk about, plus blogtober is what you make it so here we go!

So two months ago I posted a blog post which just talked about where I was in life, you can read it here, I’ll be referencing it a lot.

Getting a job

So in that post I talked about how I had been struggling to get a job so I decided to volunteer in a charity shop to gain some experience in retail. Well, since then I got a job at a fish and chip shop, quit said job a month later cos the hours were ridiculous and then got a second job that pays way more and I can pick my hours! I can’t say where I’m working because that would give away where I live, but I had my first shift this past weekend and it was really chill. So I’m happy with that.

Driving

I told you guys how I had postponed my test because I wasn’t ready, well my test is this month and I’m not feeling too awful about it if I’m being honest. For the most part I’m driving fine, I just need to tweak things here and there but it’s nothing major. I’m honestly so excited to get this test over and done with, and hopefully passing it too!

School

Of course, school has started up again for me. We’re one month in, and while the school work itself is fine I’m not loving school. Almost everyone I went to school with is now at uni, and I’m left with barely a handful of people who are also staying an extra year but I don’t often get to see the ones who aren’t in my class. I’m not ashamed of staying an extra year but that doesn’t mean I’m enjoying it. It feels like I shouldn’t be there anymore, and with all the changes and new people, it doesn’t feel like it’s the same school I’ve been going to for the past 7 years. But, Christmas is around the corner and we all know the days will somehow disappear once I’m over that hill.

Blogging!

So I moved over to my new blog! And honestly, I feel so at peace with blogging now. There’s no internal pressure, or stress. I’m just blogging because it’s fun again!

Journaling

This is a new topic, so I’ve started getting really into journaling recently. I’ve got some actual ‘supplies’ now, and I have plans to get more! I’m really having a lot of fun with it and I’ll be writing more posts about it soon. I’m not sure how much of my actual journal pages I will share, the ones I’m more proud of will more than likely end up on my instagram so go give that follow. There’s a little peek into my feed over there (if you’re on a computer) >

That is also something else I’ve been having a lot of fun with, the same could not be said for the instagram I used to have.

Anyways, I hope you’ve enjoyed this little update. I think “where I’m at right now” is what I’m going to call these posts. I quite liked writing it so I’ll probably be back with more whenever my life gets interesting again.

Until next time 🍁

Blogtober 2018

Shamelessly loving Twilight

Now hold your horses, I’m not saying that the Twilight series is without flaws. There are many. I haven’t read the books since I was 13, but I am aware of the questionable writing in it.

However, I do adore the films. The first one is super cringey but it’s still great. When I feel down, I usually try to sit down and watch a Twilight film. (Usually the third one onwards) I can quote the dialogue to perfection and some scenes have me smiling like I’ve just won the lottery.

I think for me, Twilight was my first look at love. While it’s not the healthiest relationship and I haven’t used it as a model for my own, nor would I recommend it, there’s just something about it that I can’t let go. I suppose it’s because it’s all fiction and I can enjoy the fantasy guilt free. Also vampires and werewolves? Definitely my kinda thing.

I do adore the music in it though, I’ve got a playlist on Spotify and I’ve got a playlist on my phone. I’m actually listening to the songs rn, it’s what prompted me to write this post. It’s just so calming, I have yet to get sick of the music. If I can’t get to the films, the music is the next best thing to help me feel better.

I wouldn’t call it a guilty pleasure because I don’t think you should feel guilty about things that make you happy, unless they hurt others obviously.

So, what’s your non guilty pleasure?

Until next time 🍁

Blogtober 2018

Why I love Autumn

Anyone who spoke to me for more than 2 minutes during the heatwave would have heard me hating on summer and wishing it would be autumn already. While my hatred for the overwhelming heat is a key player as to why I love autumn, it’s not the only reason.

Fashion

Autumn is where my style can live its best life, I love layering clothes and wearing boots of varying lengths. Neither of which can be done during summer. It’s not that I have an aversion to showing my skin, but I’d rather it not be a necessity. In summer it’s physically impossible to hide your skin without overheating, not a big fan of that.

Weather

As mentioned above, I hate being too warm. I love that crisp autumn air when you step out of your house early in the morning. The grey clouds and promise of rain, all good things that make my soul happy. Plus, you can’t get cosy when the sun is blindingly bright and the weather is warm. But, when the temperatures begin to drop and your bed is suddenly far too comfortable to leave? Perfect cosy weather.

Colours

Autumn by far has the most beautiful colour palette, even though I’m someone who leans towards wearing cooler colours such as blues and greens. I can’t help but fall in love with gorgeous burnt oranges and deep reds each and every year when autumn rolls around. I’m even more forgiving of the infamous mustard yellow.

Until next time 🍁

Blogtober 2018

Why self hosting wasn’t for me

 

So as you all know, I moved over to this blog about a week ago from my old self hosted blog. I even have a post somewhere about the whole process of going self hosted. I went self hosted because I felt like that was how I was supposed to progress as a blogger, that was the official next step in the “how to be a good blogger” handbook. I had made an Instagram for my blog because that’s what bloggers do, which I enjoyed for a while but it quickly became a burden instead of something fun. Then my blog quickly followed suit, I was so focused on gaining readers and trying to make back the money I had spent on the self hosting that I lost sight of why I even began blogging when I was 12 with my first ever blog.

I started blogging for fun, because I like to write.

It took me a while to realise what was happening, why I wasn’t itching to write a blog post anymore. It’s because I wasn’t enjoying it and I wasn’t writing what I wanted to write about. After this epiphany of sorts, I then hopped onto the fence about whether to continue self hosting and hope I feel better eventually or just revert back and go back to having fun.

Eventually a few weeks later I came to the conclusion that as long as money was being put into this, I wouldn’t be able to enjoy it because I’d be too worried about the money. So therefore I decided I would go back and not renew the self hosting or the domain. I deleted that damn Instagram account too.

I’m much happier now that I can blog for fun and not stress about it!

So while I wouldn’t discourage people from going self hosted, just know that you don’t have to go self hosted to be a blogger.

Until next time 🍁